Share 'How am I supposed to wait till marriage?'

I don't want to sound retarded or non trust in God...2 divorces, 4 kids, my age, and I am fixed...I feel that is it for me unless I settle. I am not the grand prize for a woman...I fear that I'm supposed to wait till marriage and may end up where my stuff will not work no more, or I die...I just don't understand and don't know if I will be strong enough to wait...Maybe I should be a monk or somet…