kids that stray from the faith

[Jimbo]

Hey homeschooling friends. We are thinking about trying a new church after 14 years because our childrens Pastor and wife have been down on homeschooling, saying that when they leave home they will leave the faith. In turn about half the homeschooling families have switched over in the past few years. Now the homeschool kids in our church are being ignored by the "cool" cliques. I know that happens (homeschoolers straying) but from what we have seen, kids that get sent to public school have a bigger chance of it. A lot of you have been parents that have seen it all, or are kids who have seen your friends go off to school. What are your thoughts? Thanks!

[Beck]

I've had quite a few friends in my time, but I'll stick to just a couple examples. I have two friends, sisters, that I've known literally since I was a baby. They were always very into their school activities and their Mom was semi-anti homeschooling. However, when they reached high school they fell into the wrong crowd (they're Christian) and some very, very, very bad things have happened to them. One is still living in sin and the other has only just now started waking up to the fact that things in her life have to change. I wasn't even allowed to hang out with them in the last few years things got that bad. Another example is a friend I have had for quite a few years from Pakistan. I was her first American friend. She was very muslim and very conservative, even by my standards. It took us several years before we convinced her to go swimming (she had a problem with wearing a one piece bathing suit) and the first time she saw me with a can of rootbeer (my favorite drink) she thought it was real beer. lol When I knew her she would never cuss either. She lied allot though. Anyway, she moved away for several years and now she's back, with a husband (she's 16. She says he's not her they aren't married yet, but like I said, she's known to lie). She curses and even came by drunk once. All of the above went to public school. I'm not totally bashing public schools though, I have a few friends from Church that are relatively not adversely effected by it.

On the other hand are the homeschool friends I have known since 1st grade. I know of three that are actively supporting pro-life events in the area, and I have never heard any of them cuss or even seen them with a bad attitude before. Compared to them I'm actually fairly vulgar. They wouldn't touch some of the bands I listen to with a 10 foot pole, and I don't listen to anything most people would consider even remotely bad. They also would never say some of the things I say, and have a much better work ethic. lol But then I have one homeschool friend who turned out not much better off than the kids who went to public school.

But I think it boils down to one thing, the parents. The homeschooler who fell away had a very angry, almost crazy, Mother. The other homeschoolers had very strong Christian parents, as well as the kids I know from Church who went to public school. The sisters and the muslim had very shallow parents. In the case of the sisters they were from one of those families who go to Church twice a year and think that's all there is to it. The faith of the parents is what matters, no schooling system is really better than another. In my case homeschooling works, but other people just can't do it. I hate when people just blindly bash homeschooling when the job of raising a kid is ultimately completely up to the parents. I don't think the manner in which someone is schooled has very much bearing on the way they turn out.

[Craig]

Jimbo,

Your Children's Pastor is correct - at least partially. Fact is, studies show anywhere from 75% to 88% (depending on which study you read/believe) of all students will leave the church by the end of their freshman year of college. The studies I've seen don't differentiate between public, private and homeschool students. But my personal experience is that homeschoolers are more likely to remain involved in the church. I could go into great length about the 1950's Southern Baptist model of church organization (separate preschool, children's, youth, adult ministries) and how it is failing, but I think even the more prominent Christian Youth organizations such as Youth Specialties are beginning to realize that today's model of childrens/youth ministry is not working. Parents have been relinquishing the duty of discipling their kids to the church - and God never intended it that way. That's one reason why "Family Worship" churches are beginning to pop up all over America.

Beck is spot-on in her post and Deuteronomy is very clear regarding parental responsiblity in teaching and discipling their children in the Christian faith. It's not a school responsibility or even a church responsibility - the God-given task clearly rests with the parents. That's one of the main reasons why we decided to homeschool 18 years ago. When our Children and Youth ministries change their Mission Statements from "disciple children/students" to "equipping parents to disciple children/students", I belive we'll see a significant reversal in those study numbers.

As an aside, I'm always amused (and disappointed) at churches that advertise themselves as Family Friendly, and then split the family up as soon as they walk through the doors! It's a rarety today to find a church that promotes family worship and Bible study - parents and children together in the same room where the kids can see first-hand what Bible study and worship looks like. But that's a whole other blog...

[Fran]

I live in the UK and there are not many people homeschooled here. I go to a Catholic school and a Catholic Church. (I'm 16 in case you were wondering). I don't know anyone here that is homeschooled. I suppose it is different because I go to a Christian school but, even though there are plenty of non-believers in our school, people who go to church don't stray because of the fact that they go to school rather than being homeschooled, but because of their own personal experience of faith and their friend's and family's influence on them. Our school has prayers and acts of worship every week for each school year. We all have Religious Studies lessons and a good Religious Studies department in our school. There is definitley a sense of a christian ethos in our school. In our school, the cool popular kids aren't the ones who tend to go to church and if they do, there are no popular or unpopular people in our church anyway. The people who are there want to be and most people get on with eachother. Nobody get's ignored. I wanted to know, in America, are schools that are open to everyone and funded by the government (we call them state schools) Christian? Our school is a state school even though it is partly funded by the church too so we get less money from the government. Most schools in the UK are non-religious but in every county/region there are at least a couple of Catholic Schools. I can tell that the system in America must be different to the UK but I just thought I'd let you know the link that I have found between church-goers and people in school here in the UK. Please ask me any questions if you don't understand me or you want to know more about the UK schooling system. I hope this makes sense.

[Jimbo]

That was awesome..couldn't have said it any better! That song was cute..is it you guys?

Acts9 said:

While it is true that many young adults lose their faith by the time they reach the age of accountability, I don’t think that this can be attributed to homeschooling. I believe the huge contributing factor to this occurrence is the public schooling of evangelicals.

Why do Christians think that it is a good thing to send their precious little child into a godless institution like the public school?

The Bible makes clear who the authority lies with when it comes to children. Need I say that it belongs to the parent? We are whom God has entrusted with this very special task. We are the ones who are responsible, not only for their physical needs, but also for their spiritual needs and guidance. This is a full time job. It is not to be taken lightly and it is certainly not for the parent to pass off to a government agency or day care provider.

God has given parents authority over their children to make sound decisions when it comes to raising them. He did not institute children over their parents because children lack maturity and the ability to make decisions based on God’s word. They need us. Our children put their trust in us as their parents to make good choices for them while they are young and require guidance. These are our babies; created in God’s image. We have a responsibility to give them the best foundations possible on this planet.

We do not need to subject our children to the war zone of public school socialization. We do not need to send them into the lion’s den so they can “live in the real world”. We do not need our children educated by 40 year old secular humanists or Christian teachers that are restrained from showing and sharing the ways of the Lord because their hands have been tied. God would never send the Israelites to a Philistine school so why do we?

What about salt and light? Is that why we send our beloved children to public school? We are not to send our minor children up against these seasoned professional humanists to be salt and light. When the Bible speaks of salt and light it is not talking about the above mentioned scenario. He is talking about the adult. He is talking to someone grounded and mature in the Word of God, talking about someone who has been raised up in the training and admonition of the Lord.

The lines have been drawn for a very long time. Decades ago the public school system, via the NEA and governmental policy; via the Supreme Court, separated church from state. We all know that. But what I think we are forgetting is that they are teaching something in the public schools. If they are not teaching God and creation along with the three R’s they are teaching man’s philosophies. They are teaching the origin of man from the standpoint of evolution. They are teaching our children that they are all animals evolved from gutter slime, and since they are animals they can behave like animals. There is no right from wrong if they have all evolved because there is no source from which right and wrong would flow from.

If someone was raising you from the young age of five years old until you were eighteen years old all the while telling you that you were an animal (evolution), telling you there is no God (no right and wrong and relativism), telling you that you can do whatever you want (no fear of authority) wouldn’t you believe it? Wouldn’t it be a great part of who you were? Wouldn’t it be so drilled into you that you could even robotically respond in that dogma? Wouldn’t it be hard to deprogram that in only a few hours a week at home? You would most likely reject the teaching only taught you a few hours a week at home (Christianity and a relationship with your Creator God) rather than what was engrained in you forty hours a week.

If we are not created human beings made in the image of God then we don’t have to be accountable for anyone or anything. Everything is relative when it comes to life, if it feels good do it, if your parents disagree-divorce them. If they want to experiment with sex (and a lot of good children fall into this) they will find resources at their fingertips to help them along. Condoms are readily available to children who want them. Sex education has become a “how to” class not an abstinence class. If they become pregnant, there are counselors who have crossed the line and taken minor girls to abortion mills. Homosexual groups across the nation have been seen passing out fliers about bi-sexuality and literature that says there is no shame in that.

Public schooling is a very lucrative business. It rakes in millions if not billions of dollars of taxpayer’s money. Each child that is in that school makes money for that school. It is a huge day-care center for school-aged kids. They corral them into small rooms all day long like animals and indoctrinate them all day into their secular humanist philosophies. Do you see a pattern here? I’ll give you a hint: animals.

Their motivations are clear; money and a need to undermine the teachings of Jesus Christ. If they can convince or cause millions of children to believe their teachings; through brainwashing techniques and psychological manipulation it is easier for them to keep them under wraps later. Control is another motivation.

And that is the reality, my friend. If you are sending your children to public school you are not raising your children. They are being raised by the public school teachers. They are being fed secular humanism all day long through coercion and repetition of their belief system.

My suspicion is that leadership in churches have a lot of support by public school educated families (tithe) and are afraid to step out of their comfort zone and preach the truth and let the chips fall where they may. It's sad, really.

You keep on doing the right thing by loving, nurturing and educating your children at home! Leave a legacy of love. Find a church that will support you in this huge endeavor and pray for you.

Stop by and check out “The Philistine School” song. It inspires me and reminds me why our family homeschools.