My Jar of Clay
Recentely I was talking to my friend about some of the things in life that i have went through and i guess i said something that triggered what she said.See when i was younger i was sexually abused multiple times and i had never looked at it as anything but me being weak and just nothing but negative could come out of it.I spent years with only a few close friends who i made swear to never say anything about the abuse or any of the other negative choices i made.I would drink heavily every day in junior high and in the beginning of High School to the point that i couldn't remember days even weeks.It even got to the point were drinking wasn't enough and the one thing that i had promised myself i would never do i did on the regular,cutting.I didn't do the typical straight lines across the wrist, I carved words like HATE on my forearms,made hearts,big lines etc.2intervene on the feelings i was having at that moment.
Finally my junior year of high school i turned to a teacher named,Mrs.List-Leinberger,but i just called KList.I was her teachers aide.She has this way of being able to tell if there is something wrong with someone.She began talking with me after class and she introduced me to this thing called the Enneagram,Its Amazing.And thought me all of the things about it.She got me back interested in school which led to my graduation.She also told me about this Christian camp in Evart,MI called SpringHill and told me i should go.Hesitantly, i did and i LOVED it.I met people who were JUST like me it changed my life.
So how this all goes back to the title in October a "friend" of mine took advantage of me and raped me.For a short time i went back to my old ways until this one day in November i found out my best friend had been through the same thing a year earlier but didnt feel i was ok enough to handle her abuse along with mine.That crushed me.Until i continued talking with her.She said she saw how bad it was affecting me and how bad i wanted to get out of the ruts that i was stuck in and how i always told her not to follow what i was doing if it happened to her.
Thats when it hit me instead of showing others like me what not to do and I still hurt.I can take this ugly,negative "Jar of Clay" and help others to get passed their own troubles,in a positive way.I can show people that the abuse didn't matter because inside that jar was the strength and knowledge and beauty of aftermath.Its just like after a fire when a new plant grows through.
So thats one of my Jars of Clay whats yours?
Finally my junior year of high school i turned to a teacher named,Mrs.List-Leinberger,but i just called KList.I was her teachers aide.She has this way of being able to tell if there is something wrong with someone.She began talking with me after class and she introduced me to this thing called the Enneagram,Its Amazing.And thought me all of the things about it.She got me back interested in school which led to my graduation.She also told me about this Christian camp in Evart,MI called SpringHill and told me i should go.Hesitantly, i did and i LOVED it.I met people who were JUST like me it changed my life.
So how this all goes back to the title in October a "friend" of mine took advantage of me and raped me.For a short time i went back to my old ways until this one day in November i found out my best friend had been through the same thing a year earlier but didnt feel i was ok enough to handle her abuse along with mine.That crushed me.Until i continued talking with her.She said she saw how bad it was affecting me and how bad i wanted to get out of the ruts that i was stuck in and how i always told her not to follow what i was doing if it happened to her.
Thats when it hit me instead of showing others like me what not to do and I still hurt.I can take this ugly,negative "Jar of Clay" and help others to get passed their own troubles,in a positive way.I can show people that the abuse didn't matter because inside that jar was the strength and knowledge and beauty of aftermath.Its just like after a fire when a new plant grows through.
So thats one of my Jars of Clay whats yours?
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